The Appraisal of Life

It's that time of the year where most people who are the employees of an organisation need to do this exercise at least once every year. I am no exception. Yes... it's December and most companies close their financial year by end of December. Hence, those who are in charged of the performance and rewards are now busy with staff appraisal to justify their work performance, which eventually will affect the staff's salary increment or bonus.

I am never a fan of this kind of system. However elaborated your justification is to show how you are indispensable or an asset to the company, it all boils down to certain figures or ratings that are used by the company to see if you really are eligible for that extra compensation.

I have always been in companies that did not have a standard practice of compensating the staff with annual bonus. So, this is something  new to me. What I notice is that those who are in the companies that practice this annual bonus as part of their competitive rewards scheme would not take it well if they feel that they are not being given as what they expect to get. In other words, they think it is given, or it's the company's obligation to give them all this annual salary increment or bonus. When they don't get those, this is when I see some of the hell doors break open.

What they don't realise is that it is at the company's discretion that they actually get those bonuses, where the fine print always says "subject to the company's financial performance, and individual employees' work performance". If they are labelled as 'below threshold', in which God's universe would the company is obligated to award them with the annual bonus.

The funny thing about all these people is that the talk about their "work performance" and the subject of "bonus" only comes out when it is time for them to be appraised. Whatever happens in January to November? Have you done your reality check with your bosses if you actually meet their expectations at all?

Oh well... I hope I'm not going to be affected by these people. I haven't been given bonuses for God knows how long. So this year, if I really do get that kind of rewards, that really is a "bonus" for me :)

ieja

My Journey Thus Far

I have been blessed with a lot of things. But one thing that I'm really really greatful for is my family. Abang Iqie is five, Abang Afeeq is three, and Rayna is one and a half years old. And I just celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary.

We're now paying close attention to Abang Iqie's reading and writing skills. He gets Maths and doesn't need much guidance. But he thinks reading and writing are a nuisance. Whenever the car stops, I would always ask him to spell whatever words we could see. Be it a billboard, names of shops or advertisments. Some letters still slipped his memory, and he has to recite his ABC to remember them. But on different occassions, that doesn't seem to be a problem. Is he practising selective memory like me? I sure hope not. But with a bit of encouragement (by that I mean a little bit of scolding and threatening and bribing), he seems to be on the right track. And I have to make sure that his memory lapses are not a permenant thing ;)

I also notice that Abang Iqie is a bit like 'by the book' type of kid. He listens to us when we reason with him. And we when set rules, he abides although he would try to get his way around them sometimes.

Abang Afeeq is still enjoying his play time a lot, especially now that Mummy and Daddy don't seem to pressure him to do any homework yet. Well... That time will come my darling. He's a bit cheeky, always trying to cook up something funny. But he can also be notorious especially if he is provoked, and if things don't exactly go his way. At the same time, he's a darling. Always says 'I love you' when you least expect it. He's a cheeky and tough Mummy's boy. And he reminds me a lot of myself :))

Although Rayna is only one and a half years old, she's more advanced than her two bros. She's very independent. She won't allow me putting on her shirt and pants after shower. She wants to do it herself, and blind me, she can! She can also eat on her own. She can understand us perfectly. Whenever she has poohed in her diaper, she would come to me and tell me that she had poohed. When I tell her to shower, automatically, she would take off her pants and shirt and head to the bathroom. She then would take the stool, place it right in front of the wash basin, demand for her toothbrush, and brush her own teeth. Of course I have to brush her teeth all over again. Once that is done, she would put back the stool where it belongs and enter the shower area. She would also shampoo herself, rub her tummy with the shower gel including her feet, and rinse herself.

Rayna has also started to utter words that we can understand. I can even have a decent conversation with her about simple things. Her obsession nowadays is cats. Whenever she sees one, she would follow and would want to kiss it. That doesn't happen to just live cats, but to pictures of cats too, on books or on the phones.

I guess these are the things that really make me feel blessed! Alhamdulillah.

Ieja

The iFamily

I think I'm very much a gadget person. I'm not a freak who has to own all the latest tech that the world has to offer, but I am very much interested in playing, discovering and most importantly having technology in my hand.

Hubby (after much persuasion) and I bought an iPhone 4 each. That was a year ago exactly on my birthday. Mine was a birthday present from him :)) and I can't thank him enough. So, that was the turning point for us. I have always been stupefied by the Internet, having it on the go enhanced my obsession. And Hubby was really making fully use of everything the phone and the Internet have got to offer.

A year later today, we still have no complaints. In fact, we converted some people who were on the less-smart phones, or on Androids to iPhone. Even my boss hahaha...! And we're branching out... This year, for my birthday, I bought myself an iPad 2 - as a "birthday gift" to myself. And for Abang Iqie's birthday, he earned himself an iPod. Aaaahh... the joy that we saw in his face when he got his iPod - priceless. But Mummy and Daddy were RM700 poorer hahahha... But of course, before he could get his hands on the iPod, he had to promise us a lot of things. Among other:

1. He cannot play with Mummy and Daddy's iPhone anymore
2. He cannot play with Mummy's iPad
3. He must do his homework before he can play with his iPod
4. He must share his iPod with Afeeq
5. He must listen to Mummy and Daddy if he wants to play with his iPod

And amazingly, he actually abides by those rules until today! 


We're now thinking of what we could give Afeeq to make it equal to him...


ieja

The Thing That I Learn...

I have been doing some self-reflection lately and I think I need to do some re-affirmation and record what I have learned so far...

1. The thing about being a parent is that you will need to forget that you are tired or sick or busy. Children don't get them. When you are with your children, give them your full attention. They just want their time with you. If you need to cry, do it after they are asleep...
2. When you are angry, it is only wise for you to be quiet. Otherwise you will hurt yourself and people around you more than you think you could.
3. You can really judge if someone really loves you and respect you or not by his action when he is angry with you. If he doesn't give a shit about you when he is angry, it means that he doesn't love or respect you enough...
4. He doesn't love you or respect you enough if he still smokes around you when he very well knows how you feel about people smoking... especially around (your) kids!
5. You can only stand and respect someone that much, but it takes great patience and great strength to be able to hang in there even though you know you are going to erupt anytime.

ieja

My Horrible, Horrible Dream

I had a horrible and terrifying dream the other day. And it was such a horrible dream that shiver still runs down my spine every time I think of it. In my dream I was crying... and when I told Hubby about it in the morning, I was crying too...

In the dream, I was walking with Hubby, Iqie and Rayna in the stroller. We were in a busy street in a very busy city. In my mind, it felt like JB, but it was also foreign to me. All the while, I couldn't be certain why Afeeq was not with us. Then, I realised that Iqie was walking faster and faster and was then ahead of us. With throng of people, I couldn't see him, so I called him. I could hear him, and could only see his back and his shirt among the many people in front of us. And I told Hubby to go and get him. When I couldn't see him, I shouted his name, and I still could hear him although he sounded quite far.

The next minute, he was not answering anymore. I panicked and rushed to find him, but I just couldn't see him anywhere. I shouted and shouted his name, but I couldn't hear him anymore...

I just can't describe the feeling...

Hubby was stunned and was totally in a shock that he just couldn't move. I gave him Rayna and told him to watch her, and then ran around to find Iqie. Then I stopped a van full of people inside and asked for their help. The van took me around but I still couldn't find Iqie. By then, I was crying like mad. And then, I looked at the driver and told him that we had lost another son too... he also went missing just like Iqie. The minute I finished my story, it dawned on me... Afeeq was gone too...!! And again... I just can't describe the feeling...

I cried and I cried... for the thought of not being able to see my sons again was so excruciating I couldn't even imagine living... And I woke up with tears on my face and still with that indescribable feeling...

And as I write this down... tears are still rolling down my cheeks...

ieja

Happy Birthday Afeeq - 07 Oct 2011

We celebrated Afeeq's birthday on 07 October 2011. Happy Birthday Afeeq. Mummy, Daddy, Abang Iqie and Rayna love you so much. It was a low key event (our family events this year seem to be all low key..). We bought a number of goodie bags for the "school" for Afeeq to give to all of his friends, bought him a birthday present which much to our liking seems to be his favourite thing so far, and lastly sang him the song for him to blow his candles. Afeeq is now 3 years old.

A happy face...

Getting started..

Now let's talk about his birthday present. We asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and his simple answer was "car". But with little guidance from his big brother (well... we have established that his big brother is a big fan of Ben 10), his "car" sort of expanded to "Ben 10 car". But we were not fooled... so we bought him his very own wall-mounted Hot Wheels racing track!! And he loved it so much that he didn't want to go to sleep that night...

So Daddy - the Handyman demonstrated his skills to the kids and mounted everything on the wall. I must say that it was pretty clever, whoever invented this toy must be a genius! It took Daddy not even half an hour to assemble everything. And the kids just couldn't wait to start racing. But poor Abang Iqie... since it was Afeeq's birthday present, he got to play first and he was given the priority of course. But Abang Iqie was a sport and understood things well.

The step-by-step assembly of the track

So happy to see those faces playing together. It makes you wish for the moments to last. I just hope that the three of them realise how they are loved and cherished by their Mummy and Daddy. I also want them to know  that their Mummy and Daddy would do anything for them.

And finally...

So kids... if you read this, please know that you are our everything...

Now, Abang Iqie has started to make his wishlist for his birthday... and some outrageous items have popped up in the list...

ieja

 

My Last Birthday :P

I have forgotten to write about my birthday :P Can you imagine that? To tell you the truth, I myself almost forgot that it was my birthday until Hubby suggested that we took a day off  from work.

It was on 28 Sep. And after a while I didn't expect anything special anymore, except from Hubby of course. I didn't expect anyone else to wish me frankly.

But I was pleased to see that my family and a lot of my friends did wish me. It made me feel that I was part of that 'relationship' with them. Of course most of the wishes were in the FB (what else could I expect). One pleasant surprise was a phone call from my best friend, and it was when I was putting my daughter to bed. The phone call could not be prolonged. But I was nevertheless very happy.

Our ritual for birthday dictates that all birthday wish and present must be done and given at the dot of 12.00 am. This year was no exception. And after much hinting, I've got myself a Baby G watch which was already out of production. Thanks a zillion Hubby. I know you've gone through almost hell finding the present :)) Now the ball is in my court - the challenge to find you that perfect birthday gift...

Iqie made me a card - with the help of those in his 'school'. We bought a cake, we sang the song and all of them (not me, but Iqie, Afeeq and Rayna) blew the candles and feast on the cake.

It was a low key event, but a very meaningful one for me... Until next year...

*I can't believe I'm 36 already*

ieja