Life As It Is

It is that time of the year  again where employers review their employees' work performance and reward them accordingly. And of course, all this is at the discretion of the employer. So, in self reflection, do I feel like I have done my best in 2012. And do I feel like I have been rewarded fairly by my employer?

When I came onboard, I told everyone that I had never experience such extensive appraisal on my work performance. Sure I've been appraised before and sure I've been rewarded with bonus. But I had never felt this kind of level of intensity that people feel about year-end appraisal and about bonus payout as when I am with this company.

When I got my first bonus with the company, I said alhamdulillah and was very happy. I felt that my effort in that particular year was well rewarded. And I kept saying that it didn't matter to me because I had not experience this kind of monetary reward before. Furthermore, I was promoted within a year I was with the company. So, there shouldn't be any complaints, right?

Then, come the second year. I was rated as a high performer still, and the same bonus payout exercise  was done. Then, the letter came with the bonus figure. And this year, I didn't get the $$ as good as last year, and that didn't feel good. I thought, hang on... I performed better than last year and why my bonus was not as good as last year then? There is doubt...

My reaction was perfectly well understood (after a few days of self reflection). I had a good taste of bonus payout, and my expectation had gone up one notch. And when my expectation was not met in terms of $$, I was disappointed. What I failed to remember in the first place was that:

1. bonus was solely at the discretion of the employer. They have the rights not to pay any even if they make loads of money that year.
2. When the employer decides to give bonus to the employee, they have the rights to determine how much.

So, as much as I dislike the fact that I didn't get as much as last year, I forgot that I had not had this for a long time, and that I should be grateful for whatever that I receive. And that whatever amount that was credited into my bank account and was shown on my pay slip, I should have said alhamdulillah first and say thank you to my boss (which I did a bit later, and still was the first one to do so according to him). I should have also not succumbed to the culture of "I deserve the bonus, the company must pay bonus, and I deserve to get more or better bonus despite my average performance."

Thank you Allah for the rezeki you bestowed upon me.

Ieja