Lunch with a Friend

I had lunch with a friend last week. We talked about work, catching up with each other's happenings. But what was dear to me was the conversation that we had about us being a parent and about our children.

When we talked about work, we were all serious, negotiating terms and conditions, and stating terms of reference. But when we talked about our children, I immediately noticed how our tone changed from businesslike to affection and love. I guess that's how mothers are. We talked about the juggling work that we have to do, how she was coping with her hubby away for many months now, her twins and school. Me with my obsession of clean floors, having to wake up after midnite to finish work. And one common thing that we shared was how much we didn't want to miss out the years now with our children as they grow up.

I have always wanted to fast track my career. She did that faster than me. But we agreed that we shouldn't miss out the fun and laughter and the pain of raising our children. But we are stuck sometimes (or most of the time) between chasing our dreams of becoming a certain someone in the corporate world and being there all the time for our children. We realised that these are the years that our children need us the most. The time when we can shape them to better people, and prepare them for the cruel world. If we are not engaged now, we will never be able to be part of that important 'growing up' phase.

At the same time, we also know that once our children are independent enough, they won't need us as much as they need us now. And the only thing that we can fall back to is our achievements in the corporate world. What will we do if suddenly our children say "mummy, I know how to do this. I don't need you now?" That part of growing is bound to come. And in Malaysia, it is very hard to climb that corporate ladder for women of a certain age. So the important question here is... how do we do the balancing act?

How I wish I could just stay at home and be there when Iqie, Afeeq and Rayna woke up every morning, had meals with them, sent them to schools, tuitioned them myself, and put them to bed with bedtime stories. But reality is pretty hard to swallow...

At the same time, I wish I could unleash 150% of my potential so that I could be on top of that ladder, and be that someone whose a company depended on to perform.

ieja