POST-CONFINEMENT ERA

Yesterday was my 44th day of confinement... and HURRAYYYYYYY...!!!! Finally... I am able to roam free outside the vicinity of my home. But I was not all guilty-free of breaking some of the rules of confinement at all... I've been bad... very very bad...

Besides neglecting all the basic rules of confinement (things like wearing socks at all times, no cold shower, wrapping yourself tight with special cloth around your abdomen, etc.) while I was in my parents-in-law's house in Kelantan for my Hubby's father's funeral, I was also guilty of galloping Baskin Robins down my throat on my 40th day of confinement. Why..?? I was sort of celebrating the end of my confinement... how ironic!

But the worst crime that I had committed would be driving up to Rawang on my 36th day of confinement to my sister's new house. I had violated one of the most important laws of after-delivery code and conduct. Both of my sisters were appalled... so did some of my friends who visited me today.

But come on... being cooped up in your own house for 44 days or 60 days (well... not entirely true though... coz there was the journey back to Kelantan and the visit to the doctor for Afeeq's shot) could make anyone crazy... especially me - a being who is free-spirited and not to mention a mall addict.

Now that I've (sort of) completed the 44-day house arrest, I plan to enjoy the 2 or more weeks that I have before going back to work to do things that I want. For instance, getting a hair treatment, going to spa, revamping my wardrobe (that would involve shopping - a lot of it!), catching up with old friends (that would involve renewing my socialising skills).

Apparently, one of the activities that I have planned also involves some teaching at one of the local universities. Am I going to regret that? I hope not. Extra cash would come handy when I want to revamp my wardrobe... hehehe.

But, the point is, I'm just happy that I am officially certified by the society "healthy" to carry out outdoor activities and in a way to go back to my old self and routine... with one glitch though... I wish I didn't have to go back to work so soon...

ieja

CONFINEMENT ERA (Part 2)

When Afeeq was about a week old, his Tok Mak had to rush back to Kluang because of an "emergency cry" by my father. I had to admit that I was very disappointed that she couldn't stay longer to look after me. Since my Mom-in-law couldn't travel to KL as soon as possible, I was left experiencing confinement alone with my two sons and their Daddy and a helper. Shamelessly, I cried to my sister right after my Mom left. I was angry not because she had to leave me all alone to manage, but because of the reason that made her leave.

How did I manage without my Mom and Mom-in-law around? Well... pretty gracefully and with difficulty. Although I was physically well enough to look after myself (but not necessarily a less-than-two-week-old baby though), I was emotionally still exhausted. I could cope with physically related chaos, but I failed to address my chaotic emotional state. As a result, I snapped easily and turned to shouting to regain order in the house. That, ladies and gentlemen, was one tiring experience - emotionally and physically.

After my Mom-in-law arrived, normalcy slowly came back. When she was with us for about two weeks, she received a phone call from my brother-in-law (Hubby's eldest brother) back in Kota Bharu saying that my Dad-in-law was not well. My Mom-in-law thought that it was nothing serious - we thought that it was nothing serious too as he hadn't been well for quite some time. So she didn't rush home. She was only on the bus back home two days after that.

On the night she arrived, Hubby received a call from the brother saying that his Dad had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance - he couldn't move at all. By midnight, he was on a breathing machine. The brother text him on hourly basis to keep him updated of their Dad's condition, and it got worse every hour. We decided to go back after he had settled some of his office work in the morning.

On Tuesday (04 November 2008), when we were getting ready to go back to Kota Bharu, his brother text him again saying that people had started to read the Yassin to the father, and that Kalimah Shahdah was also read to him. I could see Hubby was already trembling. While Hubby was taking our bags to the car, his younger brother called and I answered his phone. I was told that his father had just passed away. Innalillah wa inaillaihi rojiun - it was then my turn to tremble - mostly because I would be the messenger of the sad news.

When he entered the front door, I immediately looked at him. He knew - mostly from the way I looked at him. I held his hand and told him. Then, I quickly gave him a hug. Both of us were in tears.

By afternoon, we were already on our way to UTP to fetch his youngest sister. His younger brother and his family were right behind us. From Perak, we made our way to Kota Bharu through Simpang Pulai, stopping only to fill up the gas tank and to stretch. It was a long journey and we arrived in Kota Bharu at about 10.00 pm. The family decided to wait for all of us to arrive first before immediately taking the arwah to the cemetary for burial.

I know how devestated Hubby was, but he had handled it well. As for my Mom-in-law, I could see that she was trying to be strong. But she couldn't fool us especially her sons and daughters. Hubby told me that his biggest regret was not being able to see his father on his deathbed and beg for his forgiveness. I wish he had that opportunity... it broke my heart to see him in that kind of situation. He was there when my brother died 4 years ago - from the day he was brought to the hospital till the day he passed away. He was also there when I was dealing with my own sadness. And I will be there for him too...

May Allah bless his soul... Amin.

ieja

CONFINEMENT ERA (Part 1)

I didn't stay at the hospital long... in fact I only stayed less than a day. Iqie visited me and took me home as well. At first when I observed him, he was all joy and laughter seeing a baby. I guess he didn't realise that the baby was going to go home with all of us and that his life would never be quite the same again.

At the hospital, he was excited when we presented him with Afeeq. He called Afeeq "Oya" as in Sofea - our niece. He called all babies "Oya" actually hehehee... When we got home, only then he looked a little bit confused. He must be wondering why the heck this little "Oya" was at home with all of us... and probably why wasn't he allowed to play with "Oya". Things got more complicated for him when Mummy had to fuss around "Oya" and sort of left him with Daddy and Tok Mak, or worst... at his own devices.

What he notices is that Mummy isn't available for him all the time now. Of course I feel guilty and terrible for not being able to attend to him all the time anymore.

Another dilema that I have is the problem of breast feeding Iqie and Afeeq. Iqie is so used to having the privilege and the luxury all to himself that when Afeeq came into the picture, he sort of retaliated. It used to be our bonding time - Mummy and Iqie alone. He doesn't hate his little brother for making him share this precious moment with Mummy, but he would claim his rightful place when Afeeq is done, or whenever he sees Mummy sitting down, not doing anything particular.

But one thing good did come out of this... Iqie is becoming more attached to his Daddy... and that Daddy is really having fun entertaining his little precious. It makes me realise how much I love them both and Afeeq, and how content I am with my life.

RAFEEQ SHARIQUE - 07 October 2008

I was blessed with a gorgeous little 3.49kg baby on 07 October 2008. The waiting was finally over at the break of dawn after Subuh at 6.17 am. Alhamdulillah everything was well with Afeeq and I. And like other Malay mothers I had to be confined and no strenuous activities were allowed. But my beloved Mom and Mom-in-law didn't actually specify blogging as one of the strenuous activities and forbid me from doing so... hehehhee. I was actually being tied up with other things... and the main one was my eldest son - Abang Iqie.

I want to remember what Afeeq's birth was like, so I'm going to describe it here - mostly for my sake. I had been having little contractions a few days before the "D" Day, but I thought they were the Braxton Hicks. So I went about my daily life as usual, enjoying my Raya holiday. I even went back to work on that Monday after the holiday and had a wonderful lunch at Roadhouse Grill Restaurant with the rest of the gang. I had the best day... and the funny thing is... I even told them that I'd been having contractions while having lunch!

Then, Hubby and I went to to see our gynea for our usual weekly check-up. After telling the qynea that I didn't feel that the baby moved enough that day, and that there was a red spot we were advised to go to HUKM for another check-up. So we went straight away trying to beat the after-work traffic. At HUKM, the doctor told me that I was 2 cm dilated already... and oh my god... was I surprised! She wanted me to be admitted, but I told her that I had to go home first to "sort things out". So I went home with a warning from the doctor telling me to come to the emergency room immediately if the contractions were stronger or less than 5 minutes apart.

So at home, I did sort things out... Iqie was submitted to my maid's care whether he liked it or not. Thank god he was an angel that night. We didn't even see him when we got home. Then, I repacked my hospital bag and ended up having two bags altogether. We then ordered pizzas for dinner. I showered and wore my going-to-the-hospital clothes. All the while, my contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I was in pain even when I was eating my favourite Dominos' beef pepperoni pizza.

The contractions were even stronger when Hubby drove me to "check-in" at the hospital. That was about after 10.00 pm. After another check up at the emergency room, the doctor confirmed that I was still 2 cm dilated... I was screaming silently in my head for them to GET THIS THING OUT OF ME ALREADY!. I seriously thought that I was like 5 cm dilated based on the contractions I was having. I was then checked in. It was midnight.

The doctor said that I would be checked up on again at 4.30 am and my eyes almost popped out... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? WITH THIS PAIN YOU EXPECT ME TO WAIT THAT LONG?? So I waited "patiently" or should I say "obediently" in bed. From midnight to three something, I was in excruciating pain, and finally about 4.00 am when I just couldn't take it anymore, I went to the front counter and almost demanded to be checked. So they called the doctor, and WALLAAAAAA... I was 4 cm dilated, and they agreed to take me to the labour room. So I was wheeled to the labour room after they broke my water. I called Hubby straight away... Hey... I wasn't going to do that alone!! He was supposed to wait in the car at the hospital's parking lot, but when I called he said he was somewhere in KL. That almost freaked me out that I almost shouted at him... WHAT THE HECK WAS HE THINKING?? HE'D BETTER BE HERE BEFORE I START SCREAMING!!

It was about 4 something or almost 5 when I was laid down on the bed in the labour room, and thank god Hubby walked in in time. And so... the mission began... All the while I kept thinking about the last time I was in that similar room. It took me 6 hours before everything ended and Iqie greeted me. With the kind of pain that I was having that day... I didn't think I could last that long. I even asked to be operated on...I almost couldn't cope with the pain.

Then, at 6.00 am, it all started. When I told Hubby that I had to push, he said no... WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO..?? I'M PUSHING NOW AND I CAN'T HELP IT!! The doctor said that they saw the head already... WHAT..???? So I pushed and pushed until I felt as if something finally came out of me... I literally felt something popped out of me!

And there he was... all blue... and I fell in love instantly!!

ieja