I Am Guilty

I have this guilt that has been hanging at the back of my head for the past few days now. Will I let my ego win or will I let my conscience lead to to do what is right?

I have been arguing with my parents about the renovation that they were doing back home. I was not so agreeable to it. I told them to find a new house and the money can be used to renovate that house instead. To me it's better than spending money repairing and renovating the old house because there are a lot more to do for the old house. But my parents didn't want to listen to me. So they renovated that old house.

When the renovation completed, they came to me asking for more money. Well.. There are other things than what I'm writing about. It's not the money that matters to me. It's about how they didn't want to listen to me and consider my opinions and what I had to say about the whole affair. I gave them the money anyway even when they didn't want to listen to me.

But what frustrates me was, they came to me when they needed things. And I feel as if that is all I am to them. I don't have a say in any matters at all. I feel used.

I came on quite strong to them, and I think I've hurt my mother's feelings. But I am offended too. Most importantly, I feel that I'm being pushed around by my dad and by my sisters.

And I know eventually I will call them and tell them that I'm sorry...

Ieja