When Afeeq was about a week old, his Tok Mak had to rush back to Kluang because of an "emergency cry" by my father. I had to admit that I was very disappointed that she couldn't stay longer to look after me. Since my Mom-in-law couldn't travel to KL as soon as possible, I was left experiencing confinement alone with my two sons and their Daddy and a helper. Shamelessly, I cried to my sister right after my Mom left. I was angry not because she had to leave me all alone to manage, but because of the reason that made her leave.
How did I manage without my Mom and Mom-in-law around? Well... pretty gracefully and with difficulty. Although I was physically well enough to look after myself (but not necessarily a less-than-two-week-old baby though), I was emotionally still exhausted. I could cope with physically related chaos, but I failed to address my chaotic emotional state. As a result, I snapped easily and turned to shouting to regain order in the house. That, ladies and gentlemen, was one tiring experience - emotionally and physically.
After my Mom-in-law arrived, normalcy slowly came back. When she was with us for about two weeks, she received a phone call from my brother-in-law (Hubby's eldest brother) back in Kota Bharu saying that my Dad-in-law was not well. My Mom-in-law thought that it was nothing serious - we thought that it was nothing serious too as he hadn't been well for quite some time. So she didn't rush home. She was only on the bus back home two days after that.
On the night she arrived, Hubby received a call from the brother saying that his Dad had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance - he couldn't move at all. By midnight, he was on a breathing machine. The brother text him on hourly basis to keep him updated of their Dad's condition, and it got worse every hour. We decided to go back after he had settled some of his office work in the morning.
On Tuesday (04 November 2008), when we were getting ready to go back to Kota Bharu, his brother text him again saying that people had started to read the Yassin to the father, and that Kalimah Shahdah was also read to him. I could see Hubby was already trembling. While Hubby was taking our bags to the car, his younger brother called and I answered his phone. I was told that his father had just passed away. Innalillah wa inaillaihi rojiun - it was then my turn to tremble - mostly because I would be the messenger of the sad news.
When he entered the front door, I immediately looked at him. He knew - mostly from the way I looked at him. I held his hand and told him. Then, I quickly gave him a hug. Both of us were in tears.
By afternoon, we were already on our way to UTP to fetch his youngest sister. His younger brother and his family were right behind us. From Perak, we made our way to Kota Bharu through Simpang Pulai, stopping only to fill up the gas tank and to stretch. It was a long journey and we arrived in Kota Bharu at about 10.00 pm. The family decided to wait for all of us to arrive first before immediately taking the arwah to the cemetary for burial.
I know how devestated Hubby was, but he had handled it well. As for my Mom-in-law, I could see that she was trying to be strong. But she couldn't fool us especially her sons and daughters. Hubby told me that his biggest regret was not being able to see his father on his deathbed and beg for his forgiveness. I wish he had that opportunity... it broke my heart to see him in that kind of situation. He was there when my brother died 4 years ago - from the day he was brought to the hospital till the day he passed away. He was also there when I was dealing with my own sadness. And I will be there for him too...
May Allah bless his soul... Amin.
ieja
How did I manage without my Mom and Mom-in-law around? Well... pretty gracefully and with difficulty. Although I was physically well enough to look after myself (but not necessarily a less-than-two-week-old baby though), I was emotionally still exhausted. I could cope with physically related chaos, but I failed to address my chaotic emotional state. As a result, I snapped easily and turned to shouting to regain order in the house. That, ladies and gentlemen, was one tiring experience - emotionally and physically.
After my Mom-in-law arrived, normalcy slowly came back. When she was with us for about two weeks, she received a phone call from my brother-in-law (Hubby's eldest brother) back in Kota Bharu saying that my Dad-in-law was not well. My Mom-in-law thought that it was nothing serious - we thought that it was nothing serious too as he hadn't been well for quite some time. So she didn't rush home. She was only on the bus back home two days after that.
On the night she arrived, Hubby received a call from the brother saying that his Dad had to be taken to the hospital by an ambulance - he couldn't move at all. By midnight, he was on a breathing machine. The brother text him on hourly basis to keep him updated of their Dad's condition, and it got worse every hour. We decided to go back after he had settled some of his office work in the morning.
On Tuesday (04 November 2008), when we were getting ready to go back to Kota Bharu, his brother text him again saying that people had started to read the Yassin to the father, and that Kalimah Shahdah was also read to him. I could see Hubby was already trembling. While Hubby was taking our bags to the car, his younger brother called and I answered his phone. I was told that his father had just passed away. Innalillah wa inaillaihi rojiun - it was then my turn to tremble - mostly because I would be the messenger of the sad news.
When he entered the front door, I immediately looked at him. He knew - mostly from the way I looked at him. I held his hand and told him. Then, I quickly gave him a hug. Both of us were in tears.
By afternoon, we were already on our way to UTP to fetch his youngest sister. His younger brother and his family were right behind us. From Perak, we made our way to Kota Bharu through Simpang Pulai, stopping only to fill up the gas tank and to stretch. It was a long journey and we arrived in Kota Bharu at about 10.00 pm. The family decided to wait for all of us to arrive first before immediately taking the arwah to the cemetary for burial.
I know how devestated Hubby was, but he had handled it well. As for my Mom-in-law, I could see that she was trying to be strong. But she couldn't fool us especially her sons and daughters. Hubby told me that his biggest regret was not being able to see his father on his deathbed and beg for his forgiveness. I wish he had that opportunity... it broke my heart to see him in that kind of situation. He was there when my brother died 4 years ago - from the day he was brought to the hospital till the day he passed away. He was also there when I was dealing with my own sadness. And I will be there for him too...
May Allah bless his soul... Amin.
ieja
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