I had a horrible and terrifying dream the other day. And it was such a horrible dream that shiver still runs down my spine every time I think of it. In my dream I was crying... and when I told Hubby about it in the morning, I was crying too...
In the dream, I was walking with Hubby, Iqie and Rayna in the stroller. We were in a busy street in a very busy city. In my mind, it felt like JB, but it was also foreign to me. All the while, I couldn't be certain why Afeeq was not with us. Then, I realised that Iqie was walking faster and faster and was then ahead of us. With throng of people, I couldn't see him, so I called him. I could hear him, and could only see his back and his shirt among the many people in front of us. And I told Hubby to go and get him. When I couldn't see him, I shouted his name, and I still could hear him although he sounded quite far.
The next minute, he was not answering anymore. I panicked and rushed to find him, but I just couldn't see him anywhere. I shouted and shouted his name, but I couldn't hear him anymore...
I just can't describe the feeling...
Hubby was stunned and was totally in a shock that he just couldn't move. I gave him Rayna and told him to watch her, and then ran around to find Iqie. Then I stopped a van full of people inside and asked for their help. The van took me around but I still couldn't find Iqie. By then, I was crying like mad. And then, I looked at the driver and told him that we had lost another son too... he also went missing just like Iqie. The minute I finished my story, it dawned on me... Afeeq was gone too...!! And again... I just can't describe the feeling...
I cried and I cried... for the thought of not being able to see my sons again was so excruciating I couldn't even imagine living... And I woke up with tears on my face and still with that indescribable feeling...
And as I write this down... tears are still rolling down my cheeks...
ieja
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